It Makes Me Laugh..

I often find myself in situations when I just have to shake my head and laugh. I thought it was about time I shared my funny or ironic stories about friends, co-workers, dates, and myself. The stories are real. The names have been changed to protect the innocent idiots.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

It's Not Too Late, It's Never Too Late

I am responsible for creating our monthly e-newsletter for work.  It typically goes out on the first Wednesday of every month.  Apparently I'm really aggravating one of the recipients because he'd prefer he received in on the first every month (mind you none of the information is outdated).

This is the third month in a row that I received an email.

"why do you people send these news-letters out 7,8,9, days late,? why??????"

Maybe I'll send him the January newsletter on December 31. Wonder if that would be too early?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

That's Just Crazy!

I find it quite amusing that the YUSA informational poster resembles the cover of "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest"...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Spelling be

The guy sitting next to me texting:

- "how does awkward turn to skewed in spell check?"
- "you prob spelled it wrong."
- "how could I spell it wrong? It's easy - a-k-w-a-r-d.'

Monday, June 27, 2011

Cardio Kickbox to my Inbox

I received some lovely fanmail over the weekend.  Apparently he takes his spinning classes very seriously.

Name: Dan

Member - Yes: Checked

Contact Us Message: Please update the fitness schedules! I know when these schedules expire, shouldn't the person who makes them also?

Should I feel threated?

Monday, May 30, 2011

geography 101

Playing catch phrase with the family (yes weve had a few drinks). Im giving clue and i said this:
I went there last summer
Its downstate
Manhatten, brooklyn.

Answer: virginia

hmmmm.... not so much.
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Sunday, May 29, 2011

for your memorial day cookout

Watching man vs. food. direct quote, "a two foot hot dog? Thats like eating two foot long hot dogs!"
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Friday, May 27, 2011

I Got Nothing...

Today our table file forms for summer are due so that I can get them into our system so people can register for programs.  I received this email from one of our staff....

I do not have any programs running during the summer session. Do I still need to submit table files?

Yes, please send me the blank template.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Panda Express is Actually in the Mall Across the Street

While eating dinner at Kyoto today, the girl at the table behind us asked why she didn't get a fortune cookie when she was finished with her meal.

She also might be surprised to know that she eating miso soup, not wonton...
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Monday, March 21, 2011


Yesterday at dinner I described somone as having "no game".

My mom looks at me and says, "He's not into those video games?"

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha Rockin' Everywhere

A bunch of us are sitting around in the bar last weekend watching hockey. During intermission we were talking about the book/movie Eat Pray Love.

One friend is giving a synopsis and talks about how she was in India praying to Allah.

I was like, "Actually Allah is who Muslims pray to, not Hindus."

She asked who Hindus pray to. I said I wasn't sure of the names. Thought that they believed everything had a spirit. I could picture the spirit/God with multiple arms (maybe Shiva? Krishna?).

They weren't buying that and anther friend thought Hindus prayed to Buddha. Someone else agreed.

Yeah, pretty safe to say, nope, thats the Buddhists....
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Weight a Minute

A few nights ago, I'm sitting at the bar with some friends.  One of the guys is talking about the type of girl that he dates.  He says that he, "likes a girl with meat on her bones. You know, like 135 or so."

So, 135 pounds equals a girl with meat on her bones?!? Do all guys think like that?

If that's true, what does that make me - a king cut of prime rib?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Gung Hei Fat Choy

When I worked for the rec department a few years ago, we held a holiday event and our theme was Chinese New Year.

A co-worker asked if it was a real holiday.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Leap Year (+2)

Entering table files into the system all day today so people can register for programs.

One of our fitness classes begins on February 31, 2011.

You say yes. I say no.

You say goodbye. I say hello. Hello. Hello.

Yay, the Target commerical. I had no idea this was a real song! I thought it was just written for Target.

Oh, yeah, it's just a song by this band called The Beatles.  Ever heard of them?

Saturday, January 29, 2011


One can ride him and one can go in his mouth.

Hmmm... thats weird... kind of sounds like a threesome...

actual conversation was a strategy for getting through a board with mario and luigi and only one yoshi...

Friday, January 14, 2011

think i dated the avatar....

You're an avatar dan. You're wearing a gold chain and a fedora. Do you want to be in a boy band or something?
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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Captain Obvious

Playing Catch Phrase [Taboo meets Hot Potato] with a bunch of friends.  The category is food.  The times starts and the first clue out of my friend's mouth, "It's something you can eat."  Thanks, that was helpful.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Here goes nothing..

So, for my first blog I debated if I should tell a story from the past or wait for some new material.  Instead, I opted for a disclaimer.

For the past few months I toyed with the idea of starting a blog about the random things that happen in my life.  I wanted to write about the real life episodes of "The Office" that I encounter every day, the (to put it nicely) interesting men that I've been on dates with, or maybe about the entertaining answers that my friends have blurted out during game nights.  All of my posts are meant to be harmless and just make people smile so don't be offended if you're the main subject in my material - I won't reveal your true identity, unless you want me to, of course. :o)